Faith

Living in Limbo

My sister-in-law called this evening and asked about our plans for Christmas. I laughed. I don’t even have plans for Halloween yet, and that’s six days away!

I don’t know where we’ll celebrate Christmas because I don’t know where we’ll be living in December. Will my husband have a new job by then? Where will the job be?

If we’re still 700 miles away from our extended families, then we won’t be traveling home for Christmas. We’ll celebrate Christmas here in our apartment, just the eight of us. And I’ll try to convince my children that Stouffer’s lasagna is the best Christmas dinner, just as I did last year. After all, Momma doesn’t want to spend all of Christmas Day in the kitchen, and they don’t really love turkey all that much anyway.

This living in limbo is not fun. Oh, I know there are important lessons to learn in the waiting. I know that God knows our future, even though we do not. I know that He is working good in us, molding us as we wait, vulnerable and helpless. I know all of that. But it’s still not fun.

In the meantime, I try to do the next thing, not thinking too far into the future. I wash the next load of laundry; I teach the next reading lesson; I make the next meal; I give the next hug. We aren’t making plans for next week because I might be dropping everything and packing boxes next week. We aren’t making plans for next month because we might be unpacking boxes in a new home next month. We are living today -right here, right now, trying to be content.

And my brain reminds the gnawing in my stomach and the stress-pains in my shoulders (Why must I always feel the weight of stress across my body as if I were carrying a physical, literal backpack of boulder-heavy anxiety?) — and my brain reminds the gnawing in my stomach and the stress-pains in my shoulders that God knows, even though I do not. And He has good plans, even better than what my finite mind could dream up. And this waiting will not last forever.

Maybe even tomorrow, we will know something . . .

How about you? Are you waiting on something or someone? Where will you celebrate Christmas? Can you feel stress as a physical weight? Do you think my kids will go for the Stouffer’s Christmas meal plan? 

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7 thoughts on “Living in Limbo

  1. DocandPolly, so often the things that are good for us are no fun. 🙂

    Glitternsilk, thanks for that encouragement. He does have me (and you). Even if I don’t know much more than that! 🙂

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  2. You are echoing the thoughts and feelings I have had over the last 15-18 months! It is difficult to trust that Abba has it all taken care of. We need to lean on Him and just believe that He is who he says he is and that He can do what He says He can do. Easier said than done (boy, how I can attest to that!). Stress weighs me down. It makes me have knots all over and I start feeling a bit ill. My comfort has been this: “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for you. His love for you endures forever–and He never abandons the work of His hands.” (from Psalm 138:8).

    We are finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. We know now where Christmas will be celebrated (although it is still unknown whether or not we will all be reunited for the holiday–praying Rob will be able to join us in MS as soon as he has finished teaching classes this semester and that he won’t have to stay down in deep south TX until his actual resignation date). We are all thankful that our house sold so quickly here and that all of these “puzzle pieces” are falling into place. What a testament to the mighty hand of God!!!

    You are right though, the waiting will not last forever.

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  3. Thanks, Crystal. I think I’ll print out that verse.

    And I love that your house sold so quickly. Amazing! And I’ll be praying about Christmas, that Rob will get to be with you & the boys.

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  4. Oh, the limbo is such a time of leaning into the Father, isn’t it? As I was reading your post, I was reminded of the time when the Israelites were living in captivity and they were admonished to build houses and plant vineyards. It may not be relevant for you at this moment, but it’s what came to my mind. Maybe that’s more for me than for you. 🙂

    By the way, welcome to The High Calling!

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  5. Thanks, Cheryl. I like that thought — just do what needs to be done wherever we happen to be, even in limbo.

    By the way, I think you’re friends with my sister-in-law, Julie. 🙂 She’s the one who told me about The High Calling.

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