This morning I blew it. It started out alright — I talked with my girls and hugged them and told them I love them before they headed out the door for school. I made my normal pot of dark roast coffee. I smiled and spoke nicely to the boys, reminding them to follow their morning chart so they could get a star.
But the boys didn’t cooperate. They fussed with each other. They talked back to me. They made noises to annoy me. They ignored me. And I did not respond with a patient, gentle love. I was easily irritated, grumpy, snippy. I ended up yelling at them. They cried; I cried; we were nearly late for school.
I apologized; they apologized; we drove to school in sad silence.
After I got home, I tried to tackle my to-do list. But discouragement and sadness and guilt sat like a heavy weight upon my heart.
Finally, I opened my Bible to Ephesians. Like a soothing balm to my irritated soul, God’s words washed over me.
I imagine Paul praying this for me:
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine; according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I want to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. I want to grasp the width and depth of Christ’s love and then love others with that same love. I want that power that can do more than my tiny brain can ask or imagine to be at work within me.
And, by faith, I trust it will be so. Even when I’ve blown it.
I’m so thankful He never changes, even when my moods shift like the sand. He’s so much more than I can think or imagine. And amazingly, he offers that unimaginable love and and power to me. And to you.
My heart is full with thanksgiving.