Ben Affleck and the Truth about Marriage

Did you watch the Oscars?

I didn’t. I was in sunny Florida chatting it up with a girlfriend that evening while we made homemade biscotti in her kitchen. And by “we,” I mean I zested two oranges and she did everything else.

But I have seen some video clips of the night. And I read a recap or two. And it seems Ben Affleck is getting some grief for his Best Picture acceptance speech. In it, he thanked his wife, Jennifer Garner, for working hard at their marriage for “10 Christmases.”


First, I guess I should give a disclaimer. Jennifer Garner and I are the same age; we’re both from West Virginia; we both are named Jennifer; and inside my imagination, we’re totally BFF’s.

Ok, now that we got that out of the way – I think the only people who are giving Ben Affleck any grief are people who aren’t married. Because anyone who has ever been married knows that marriage IS work. It’s hard work. But, like my BFF’s husband said, it’s a good kind of work. It’s worthwhile work. But it’s a daily dying to self, pouring into something outside of yourself work. And it’s hard sometimes.

What do you think? Is this controversial at all? Or are some bloggers and entertainment reporters just drumming up scandal where there is none? Is it just Ben, Jen, and me? Or do you think marriage is work too?


8 thoughts on “Ben Affleck and the Truth about Marriage

    1. Some writers were saying things like, “Is he sleeping on the couch?” or that his wife looked afraid he was going to say something wrong. I didn’t see that in her reaction at all. I think they DO make stuff up. So glad I’m not famous!


  1. I saw it and thought it was totally “real” of him to say that. Real relationships are messy. I *know* it is hard work being married to me. Not working on a marriage is giving up, saying it doesn’t matter.


  2. It’s work, but the best kind of “work” there is! And you have my new favorite blog. Ok, my only favorite blog, because I don’t have time really to read many blogs, but this is really insightful….and funny……and that one about what you’d tell your younger “momma self” just about made me weep.


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